Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Bonding
Lately there seems to be a lot more discussion about narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding, likely thanks to things like social media, which brings awareness surrounding this topic. What we know from research, knowledge and information shared by people such as Dr. Ramani Durvasula and others’ shared personal experiences, is that narcissistic personality disorder (classified under the DSM), traits and characteristics have always been there. So what’s changed in these last few years that’s led to the shift in narcissistic abuse being such a hot topic? Whether it’s due to the fact that women feel more comfortable about posting their experiences online and o social media as a way to connect with others, or because we’re stronger with numbers, but regardless of the reasons, it’s a hot topic right now.
What we know from research, books, authors and the DSM is that if you ever do find yourself in some sort of a relationship whether it be a romantic relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits, characteristics or tendencies, it can be significantly damaging to one’s self. Narcissistic abuse is a harmful form of abuse; abuse that is often acted out in forms of emotional, mental and psychological tactics which is also known as interpersonal violence despite there may not be any physical abuse element. However, just like it can be difficult for an individual to gather the strength to leave an abusive and toxic relationship and not return, someone who’s been affected by trauma bonding call feen like it is more difficult to leave. Many who have been a survivor of narcissistic abuse and experienced trauma bonding have reported that trying to leave this type of relationship is extremely difficult due to the trauma bond and often as a result of the changes in the brain due to the trauma bonding. Dr. Ramani also speaks about one of the difficulties in leaving this toxic relationship is due to the dopamine hit the brain often experiences in the narcissistic relationship and the brain craves the dopamine hit, similar to that of an addiction.
Many often report that it is difficult to understand the depth and complexities of being trauma bonded to a narcissist and the experiences of being in a relationship with a narcissist unless you have experienced it. Here’s a few reasons why it makes it challenging to leave a narcissist and not return despite the significant forms of mental, emotional and psychological abuse many experience:
-it’s difficult to think clearly because of all the trauma and changes to the brain; some often experience dissociation as a result of the trauma.-trauma bonding creates a significant chemical attachment to the abuse making it difficult to leave, similar to Stockholm syndrome.-
-if the person does manage to leave or is discarded by the narcissist, it comes with a lot of highs and lows and many describe it similar to that experience of going through an addiction to heroine and a similar withdrawal process.
If you find yourself either experiencing narcissistic abuse, know someone who’s going through it, or working with someone/supporting someone in a similar type of situation, there is help and support available. Sometimes it can be difficult to try to understand the depths of narcissistic abuse from an outsider’s perspective, but Serenity and Soul Healing Therapy are trained, educated and have knowledge and experience in the field of interpersonal violence, but also with narcissistic abuse and recovery. To learn more tips and info, visit our Instagram page for regular posts https://www.instagram.com/healing_with_mallery/
